Land Of The Gods... Conquered

“Well you can say Ima one curly fry in the box of the regular / Saving me for last but you better not eat me at all / Pass me the spoon, pass the analytical knife / Stop tellin me the way that I gotta play, putting too much food on my plate” ~ Jason Mraz

Alright, final thoughts, its 7.30 here and I’m leaving at 9 I think so this can’t be too long... What’s been going on the last couple of days? Can’t really remember now. Saw this ancient gypsy woman loafing round town with this goat she’d tarted right up, the slag. Stuck a load of bows on it, and it was prancing round like the bell of the ball, effin gorgeous she was.

Went on ‘CAVE WATCH, CAVE WATCH’ yesterday, which basically involved taking a boat round the islands and my bro wanted to tag along. He was trying to sleep, but I keep shouting ‘CAVE WATCH, CAVE WATCH’ at him, mostly to piss him off, but I did want some more cave pics before I left. I was perfectly capable of spotting them myself but that would have been less fun. Strange, because previously caves have never appealed to me, but that for that hour or so they became my life... don’t wanna brag but I did get a few decent pics; ‘cave king’ has been mentioned but I'm not an arrogant man.

Wrote a tiny bit more of my story... only 1 paragraph, but I’m pretty sure I know where I wanna take it now. Not much more, but here it is:

*** 6 years later ***

“Fuck! I’m gonna be late again, fucking piece of shit.” I purposely knocked my alarm clock on the floor so that I could reach my glasses; I barely needed them, but I thought they made me look more professional. I hastily brushed my teeth, chucked on the first shirt and pair of trousers that came into my field of vision, grabbed some toast and legged it in the desperate hope that I might make the 8.23 train. The trains in Ireland seemed to get delayed quite often which suited my lifestyle, I managed to only be 10 minutes late in the end; my class were already seated eagerly awaiting my arrival... or at least that’s how I interpreted it. “Alright class, settle down.” (God that was cliché.) “Lets just quickly finish off the chapter we were working through yesterday whilst you’re all still awake; need to get this into your thick skulls before our trip.” They were actually a pretty good class, not sure if it’s exactly my calling, but I definitely enjoy teaching ancient history. Always been fascinated with myths and legends since I can remember, and even re-telling tales I have recited numerous times still enthrals me. In fact I have often been accused of wrapping myself up in the fantasy world of the ancients because I can’t handle reality, which I obviously find charming. They wouldn’t even be able to comprehend just how much reality I’ve experienced.

Woke up this morning and a couple of things were different, the things I noticed were: the bottle of water next to my bed was gone and the chairs had been moved around in the living room. My brother sleep walks so I wonder what happened, I’ll quiz him when he wakes up, he’s a very odd boy ¬.¬

Hate flying, but I can’t wait to get back, I’m happy because I got what I wanted from this holiday. Need to be more stimulated though, was starting to get bored + I’ve been missing stuff back home a lot, as my life’s actually pretty decent atm. Can’t be arsed with work tomorrow, but at least it gives me a chance to quiz a couple of experts about whether they think I should straight install the pr-release edition of Windows 7 on my new laptop... sorry I miss technology lol T_T

Alright need to go pack and eat, I’ll try and keep this blog up when I get back, cheers for reading it so far... I just want to thank God for blessing me, my parents for always believing in me, my manager for taking a chance with me and... ;p xx

Land Of The Gods... Business Plan From The Heavens

Alright, bit of background info:

My dad's business partner 'David Rubin' one of the richest businessmen in the world (who also owns the company I work for). My dad's gonna grab a private jet with him next week and asked as a joke if I had any business propositions for him, and I just thought hell yeah! Been thinking of this idea for so long, only really rough atm (knocked it up just now), especially the drawing which I'll re-draw when I get back, but anyway, give me some feedback pls if u want ur freakin mansions!

Business Proposition – JR Lounge


Explanation of the name: The inspiration behind the name stems from the main train line in Tokyo, the famous ‘JR Line’. In this case ‘JR’ stands for ‘Japanese Recreational’ making the unabridged name ‘Japanese Recreational Lounge’. The ‘Lounge’ part was decided upon because that’s exactly what the establishment aims to be, a warm, inviting area of recreation for a growing untapped niche in the market. It also ties in with the train theme in correlation with the lounges you would find for upmarket airlines/trainlines.

What it is: The best way to illustrate this is through a drawing, with the advantage of each aspect explained below.

Why it will be a guaranteed success: Just walk into any trendy clothes store and half the clothes will feature Japanese text. Japan-mania is quickly saturating the UK, but it is still an untapped area of the market; although I doubt this will be the case for long.
The recreational options for young adults in this country is extremely limited at the moment, pretty much comprising solely of bars and clubs; which doesn’t appeal to everyone, especially as young people are becoming a lot more drink-conscious. Japan is decades ahead of other major countries with its recreational offerings. Tokyo is saturated with arcades (which are nothing like their English counterparts), karaoke bars (the same applies here), manga cafes and maid cafes. I believe it’ll be easy to combine these areas in a limited space thus offering the complete experience of modern Tokyo.

I will detail why each of these four ideas could be a success in its own right:

· The Arcade – Arcades in this country are a thing of the sixties, in which they were implemented. The interesting this is although they have been sparsely updated, if in a key location, they are still extremely popular. Take the arcade in ‘Trocodero’ for example, although outdated, it is still constantly full and makes a fortune from its over-priced offerings. By releasing the most popular machines from Japan and with the same pay-schemes as the Japanese market (closer to 50p as opposed to the £1-2 of its UK counterpart) then it’ll be possible to dominate the market. Another feature of later Japanese arcade machines is the ability to write your saved data (game-progress) onto a card which you can bring back to carry on where you left off. This system will bring the majority of gamers back, if the game’s content is good.

· Karaoke - This feature will be the least-explored of the four, with a karaoke night being held once or twice a week, using the latest Japanese karaoke technology. The waitresses could participate with the customers if requested.

· Manga – There will be shelves of the popular written media ‘manga’ available freely for customers to read, obviously the waitresses would have to make sure they had a drink with them at all times; the books would also be security tagged. I would initially order 2 copies of every book (and 3 of the first 5 books from every series), giving customers the option to buy a copy at an extremely competitive price if they desired.

· Maids – Maid Cafes are extremely prominent in Japan because the idea is so clever. The basic concept is that all the employees are attractive females dressed in French-maid outfits and have a servant/master relationship with clients. It is an innocent concept aimed towards businessmen who maybe don’t have time for girlfriends and desire that relationship; as well for young men who don’t have the confidence to talk to girls. It of course has a universal appeal as what man wouldn’t like being doted on by an attractive, subservient female? Girls will also find the maid’s attitudes/apparel cute and may wish to purchase merchandise to give to their boyfriends. As in Japan, customers will be able to request a Polaroid of them with their favourite maid (for a price of course). If the waitress receives a portion of this money it’ll also provide a strong incentive for them. Every employee will have be warm, friendly, attractive, of asian decent and aged between 18 and 30; it is not vital for them to speak English fluently as they will only need to greet customers and take orders. The maids will be a key theme of the cafe with pastries and drinks named after them. The maid concept can be taken further with such things as every girl could choose a different cute Japanese badge to wear on their apron to add a bit of their personality in. There could be special days/nights when their outfits change as well, for example, on Halloween it could change from a maid to a vampiress theme.

There will also be a TV area (with a coffee table for drinks) which will constantly be playing anime, and leaves the possibility of ‘movie nights’ open.

The large number of asian students living in London would instantly feel at home in this space as well as it being a hotspot for westerners.

By bringing these themes together in a cool, young, sexy yet still inviting and cosy space I can really see the JR lounge becoming a roaring success, I hope you share my vision.


(90% of that has indeed been based around what I've learnt from the apprentice lol - didn't even know what 'business acumen' meant until I watched that program ¬.¬)

Land Of The Gods... Something Tells Me I'm Gonna Fit In Fine Here... Part 4

“Sometimes, I wanna get away someplace, but I don’t wanna stay too long, sometimes, I want a brand new day, tryna fit in where I don’t belong. / Anywhere is good enough, hook me up” ~ The Veronicas

Not a lot’s been going on tbh, just usual holiday stuff, wanna come home now really lol, missing stuff back there too much + half a day when I get back’s not gonna be enough... wouldn't have agreed to go if I was in full-time employment at the time, just had nothing better to do back then so I thought I'd tag along lol T_T

Just watching a Greek mum picking up rocks from the sea and handing them to her toddler, who studies them intently for a bit, then violently throws them back into the sea... don’t know why, but I admire that chap.

Anyway, the adventure of the day is that I did a swim, far it was; good few miles each way. I drew a detailed and accurate pic above ^^ Lucky to get that preview u r, it’s going in the tate next month. Red's the route I took (I ran round for a bit so that I got hot before jumping in the icy sea. The purple thing’s a sign which I told my brother said ‘beware of the sharks’ as I got there first ^^) Use the pic from the last blog and u should be able to re-create the exact route I took in ur pathetic human brains. I needed to piss when I was out there again (...really don’t learn too good), but I was family members so I was a gent and held it in. Got worn out on the way back and tried to hitch a ride on me bro, but like the sap he is he started to drown so my dad came and beat me up T_T My legs don’t work too good now but I’m glad I saw what was the other side of them rocks ¬.¬

Might as well give a mini-review as there's not much else to talk about. Been listening to a lot of music out here, the current favourites like Jason Mraz, Matt Nathanson, Kelly Clarkson, Pixie Lott (excluding ‘Mama Do’ ofc – check out ‘Band Aid’) but one album I hadn’t really listened to much before I came out here is ‘The Veronicas’ latest album ‘Hook Me Up’. Takes me a while to get into artists, and the same is true with ‘The Veronicas’. When I first heard their UK debut single ‘Untouched’ I thought the song was alright and the video was pretty awesome. It grew on me over time until I looked up acoustic versions of their single on youtube, this is was got me started on em; thought they were a lot more talented than their heavily-produced single would lead you to believe. A similar thing with the album, did listen to it before I came away, and thought it was a little too electro-y for me, but the more I listened to it there r some really decent songs on there. A good mix, some really upbeat, clever songs like ‘Popular’ (love the second verse) and ‘Take Me On The Floor’ with some deeper songs like ‘I Can’t Stay Away’ and ‘In Another Life’ (which is probably my favourite track, and also the last on the album... probably not to unbalance the vibe). I’ll probably attempt to do my own version of it actually when my slag of a singing teacher stops trying to get famous and concentrates her talents on someone with real talent ;p but yeah I’m really impressed with the album, a wide variety of songs, some more my style than others, constantly clever and personal lyrics; definitely a grower in my opinion. They remind me a little of ‘Evanescence’ mixed with someone else but I can’t think who... possibly ‘The Ting Tings’? But yeah, two and a half thumbs up from me ¬.¬

Anyway, I’m gonna grab some lunch now so that I don’t do a death xx

Land Of The Gods... Mini Offering

This is a little story all about how my life got twist-turned upside down...

I hope you’re as interested as I am by this tale (see above for example)

Once upon a time I woke up in a and not so far from here, caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and realised just how goddam sexy I am... then I pretty much went on to live my life as an extremely attractive individual. The End x

I’m evidently running out of stuff to do here T_T Basically I just dyed the centre of my hair (was started to feel too conformist, we all know I’m more hardcore than the average man) – only left it in for a few mins though so that it’s tinted more as opposed to dyed, just so work can’t dine out on it. Think it turned out pretty much alright? I sincerely apologise to anyone negatively affected by the above pics; signature pose below ¬.¬

Land Of The Gods... Something Tells Me I'm Gonna Fit In Fine Here... Part 3

“Once I knew the boundaries, I looked up to the clouds and saw, my face in the moonlight / Never pretend that it’s all real / Someday soon this will be someone else’s dream” ~ Pixie Lott

I can’t handle this, the internet’s down, to me that’s pretty much the same as living without blood – just asked the woman behind the desk and in broken English she told me that it’s been down all today, so I was like ‘do u wanna ring em up then luv?’ and she said ‘I try but it’s difficult’... ¬.¬ does she want me to hold her hand whilst she dials the number or something? Silly slag... really don’t know why I haven’t managed to bag myself a little wife yet lol

Hm... what else happened? Oh yeah! Yesterday lunch-time I asked the guy if he was still doing lunch, and he said only a club sandwich. I asked if it would be possible to indulge in a toasted cheese and ham sandwich ('cause that’s literally how I roll), he said yeah and repeated back to me 'cheese, ham... toasted? how many slices of bread?' so I said 2 and thanked him. So I went to sit down all happy with myself lol, and what arrived 15 mins later?... only an effin mountain of club sandwiches! Woulda been understandable if it was a full restaurant or something, but I was the only one in the small bar-side cafe - think he only bought that one out 'cause it was way more expensive - I don't like that man ¬.¬

Anyway *puts shotgun away* the main thing I want out of a holiday isn’t a tan like most of the sane human population (come on, I do rock the whole vampire thing pretty good right? ¬.¬) but instead a bit of the old creative inspiration, and I think I’ve got a decent amount; just trying to utilise my surroundings while I’m here as it really is beautiful, oh I’ll take a pic actually ^^ Don’t u think the quality of this cam on me UMPC’s pretty good btw? Anyway, here’s what I’ve written so far... only a rough version, and like most of my work, its written with the intent to be turned into a manga or something, let me know what you think!

Midnight Blue - By Grant Wilde

“And now the sun has set on me and you, and the only colour left is midnight blue...”

I knew the boats were off limits at night, hell the guy was touchy about them even when you were taking them out legitimately; maybe this contributed to my lack of morals that night? I just had to get away, I couldn’t take it anymore...

It was two in the morning but the full moon emitted a feint glow, just enough to allow me to get down to the dock in one piece. I clambered onto the tiny boat and started the engine, unlike me it awoke with a loud rumble; I was detached from reality by that point. I set off along the runway created by the reflection of the moon on the gently rocking opaque tar, the boat was pretty nippy for its size. The wind pushed fiercely against me, as if warning me, trying to push me back to shore. I ignored its unsubtle warning and continued to chase the moon.

I’d only been out on the boat once during the day, but it was unrecognisable by night... warm and inviting during the day, but cold and other-worldly by night. I followed the line of the shore, careful to keep my distance from the hidden rocks. Absolute silence with only the gentle embrace of the humming engine, I felt complete calm within the abyss. I was looking up at the stars and pondering my own insignificance when I darted my head to the right, I just sensed something... maybe spotted something out of the corner of my eye? I carried on for a while, but my curiosity got the better of me and I turned the boat around.

I studied the cliffs as I followed them back. As I approached what appeared to be a large cave I noticed a very feint green glow emanating from within, reflecting off the surface of the water. As I aligned myself closer to the centre I followed the glow with my eyes which grew stronger as it approached the source, I turned the engine off so that I would loose momentum.

My eyes locked on the source, she was pure perfection. A midnight blue humanoid entity was dancing gracefully on the surface of the water. Cloaked in a tattered, unevenly-layered, translucent dress which finished just above the water’s surface. She had long, immaculately straight hair, worn in a style not common of the areas I’d lived in. It was a darker shade of the same blue colour that comprised her skin and had a single purple streak through it, down the right-front side which off-set her pea-green eyes perfectly. Her eyes were thin and elegant, as if she had inherited them from Asian royalty, but were distant and detached from reality. It was her eyes that emitted the alluring gentle glow, as if her irises were comprised of diamond and emerald fragments, wildly sparkling. She had what we would call a ‘beauty spot’ on the opposite side of her face to the purple streak and a bow tied around her right wrist with long ribbons which flowed around her and she danced. One ribbon the same shade of purple that streaked her hair, the other the colour of her eyes; her appearance really was faultless. I sat there mesmerised by her, watching her dance for what must have been at least 10 minutes, as the dance progressed, although she remained calm and graceful, the sea around her became rougher, splashing up against her, but hitting an invisible barrier; she was immune to the ferocious attacks.

She jumped onto one leg, the other resting against the side of her knee, her body stretched out, her face fixated on the ceiling. As she did this, waves hit the barrier that surrounded her and engulfed her completely. As the water trickled down around her she violently turned her head towards mine and trapped me in her cold, dead gaze. Still unmoving, azure wings rapidly sprouted from her back. Not breaking eye contact she flew towards me, faster than any car, until she hit me, head first in the stomach. She didn’t stop, but pushed forward and entered me, the pain was excruciating. Severely winded and dazed, I blacked out.

***

I was awoken by the glare of the moon, judging me. Completely disorientated it took me a few minutes to take in my surroundings, which as it was, were pretty limited. I tried repeatedly to start the engine, but had no luck. The boat was useless to me now, so I took off my outer garments and stepped off the machine. Instead of falling down as one would expect when placing their foot on liquid, my foot instead rested comfortably just above the water’s surface, exactly as the nymph’s had. I cautiously placed my other foot adjacent to the first, which resulted in the same effect. There was also the same feint pea-green glow between my foot and the sea that she had emitted.

I taped the toes of my right foot against the barrier of light and then bolted; racing the waves back towards the shore. The sea was choppier at this point so I ran up the larger waves, jumping off at their zenith. I was exhausted, but elated and consumed with adrenaline. I made it back to an un-known shore just as the sun began to rise, and immediately fell asleep on the beach.

*** 6 years later ***

Stay tuned for the next installment ;p xx

Land Of The Gods... Something Tells Me I'm Gonna Fit In Fine Here... Part 2

"Well let the geek in the pink take a stab it, if you like the way I'm thinking baby wink at it / My hip hop and flip flops well they dont stop with the light rock / I'm developing a language and I'm calling it my own" ~ Jason Mraz


Alright lads, I’m writing this from the middle of the sea, grabbed a boat this morning, so just been cruising for chicks – but I got distracted by this awesome cave I found, tried to take a picture of it but I’m not sure if it came out alright as the boat was being inconsiderate and had itself a little drift; ‘citin though, I’ll use it in a story or something, already got a really good idea ;) Don’t know what to say really, apart from it’s really gorgeous out here, so yeah, I fit in really well as I had guessed.

Went swimming yesterday, jumped in thinkin it would be vaguely warm, but effin hell it weren’t half nippy – I was later told that some icy springs go into that area of the sea, so yeah, cheers for that T_T It was weird as there r patches of ice-cold water and in other areas it’s alright... I’ll go find the source today
After I’d swam out like a mile I realised that I really needed a piss, so I thought why not, go for it, enjoy urself, so I did; but mid flow a boat drove right past and the people on board looked disappointed as they caught sight of my guilty face T_T Also tried to climb some rocks out there which was a big mistake, they were covered in invisible moss and a ton of urchins, but I was determined to make it to the destination I had picked out for myself, so I’m pretty bruised today from trying to stop myself being impaled to death, but at least I learnt a valuable lesson ^^ The landscape out here really reminds of something out of a Tomb Raider game... maybe that’s why I tried to traverse the rocks lol ¬.¬

Just arrived back on shore, and I aint half hot after that ordeal, gonna jump in the sea in a sec, better just ride out this bollocking first... come on, is it really so bad to try and run over ur snorkelling brother on the way back?

Hope England’s doing alright without me, try and hold out a few more days I’ll be back soon xx

Land Of The Gods... Something Tells Me I'm Gonna Fit In Fine Here... Part 1

"I rolled in straight from Oakland, holding my dick like a US open, trophy / Everyone wanna know my name, bring the pain and pop the champagne; Every girl wanna hold my chain while I fuck their brains out on the mustang" ~ Dirt Nasty

Yes, I have indeed arrived in Greece! In this really beautiful place actually, looking out over translucent sky blue water from a secluded decked cove thing as I type this... the tranquillity ruined only by my spluttering as I just tried to eat biscuits and drink coke whilst lying down as I couldn't be arsed to sit up.

I felt pretty shit when I arrived yesterday, but I knew I'd be alright after a decent night's sleep - was pissing me off that technology's been letting me down after I given it so much ¬.¬ Only bought my UMPC with me but it’s alright as I only intend to do basic tasks on it, like writing this and goin on the internet. But I tried the internet yesterday and for some reason the WLAN won't turn on... and obviously I can't update the drivers without connecting to the internet. So thats one of the 2 tasks I need to try and fix... I tried opening word to write this but it just crashes everytime lol, this thing is useless... using notepad, but Im nothing without spellcheck T_T Also the OS isn't loading properly, have to re-log on everytime I want to not use word lol... I really need Windows 7 T_T Sorry about that rant, Im blaming my new job as an assistant IT manager - title sounds good though right?

I realised yesterday that for the first time in a long while I'm content... no happy even with my life back home, and am already looking forward to getting back. Yeah my job may be shit and I may have like zero free time but Im proud of meself - accomplished quite a lot in the last month... wouldn’t have been able to do it this time last year...
As I would have previously guessed, the environment isn't really for me, don't really fit in... but I think people like me still? I'm finding myself having to fight a little against becoming a clone... eg I'm gonna feel a little guilty about dying my hair, but I've bought some away with me so we'll see what happens. Also been told to tuck my shirt in a couple of times lol, feel like Im back in school sometimes there T_T I found the first few days difficult but I handled it pretty well I think... Im not exactly gonna be looking forward to going back on Monday, but I'll be fine with it ya know? Do need to start looking for work elsewhere but I'm confident I should at least be able to last the 3 months of my contract, and if I wanna renew it I'm confident I'll get a big pay rise... so not the end if the world if I don't find other work. I don't enjoy it, but I really have given it my all, and I've learnt so much, picked up all the new programs a lot quicker than I thought I would, and I know Im doing well as my boss has told me a few times ^^

On the relationship front, I almost don't wanna say this, but Im pretty confident things finally have a chance of working out this time. Really into this guy, and we seem to be on the same page with what we're looking for... not gonna hold my breath as things always find a way of screwing themselves up with me, but I definitely wanna give things a proper shot. Haven't even been here a day and I've been thinking about him a lot, hope he's happy back home, and still wants to see me by the time I get back ^^

I know I've probably said this before but I'm a lot more in tune with myself these days... remember saying to my friends a couple of years ago, that my goal for that year or something was to find myself... well I'm pretty sure I've done that now... I'm confident in my strengths and weaknesses.

Health-wise Im a lot better as well... hayfever's still pretty shit back home, but seeing as that’s my worst health problem atm I can handle it. Asked me doctor to come off the old antidepressants so I've taken half-dose tablets out here with me as u've gotta come off them slowly, hope I don't get any withdrawal symtoms, a little worried about that, but Im sure I can handle it ^^

Well like I said, Im missing good ole blighty, bless you ma'am and all that but I'll enjoy meself out here, gonna start writing a story or something, so peace out for now xx